Loose ends.

Today, I told one of the regulars at work, Ron, that I had booked my flights and was leaving.
"Fine. That's fine. Just leave us here."
"Oh, Ron. Don't be like that."
"You know what? I bet you're not going to come back. You say you'll be gone for two years, but no, you're never going to come back."
"Yeah I will!"
"Well in those two years I might not wait for you, kid. There are plenty of other girls for me out there..." (keep in mind that Ron is 74 years old.)
"Sure, sure Ron. You'll probably find another hot, young waitress to chase after."
"Another waitress! Now we have to find another waitress! She'll never be as good as you!"
"I know, Ron. I'll have to find some English guy to replace you."
"It will take two English guys to replace me, kid."

I think I might miss my workplace a little once I'm off. The Legion has been my job for the past year and a half and I know the regulars really well. It's definitely a place that I've enjoyed working at, if only for the patrons who make me laugh until my face hurts.

It's strange to think that a year ago today I was on a train to Riga, Latvia. It seems a millennium ago, yet just yesterday. It was a year ago today that I had one of those, "Wow." moments. I had just boarded the train in Moscow. It pulled out from the station and I looked at the city racing away behind me. The green pine trees grew thicker and all I could think was, "this is it". I was on my first real trip alone, I was backpacking through two countries by myself. No classmates or friends with me. I was sick as a dog that day, drugged up on NyQuil but immeasurably excited. The next morning when I arrived in Riga, I realized I had left some things behind in Moscow. The metaphorical kind of things. What hadn't dissipated of Old Maarit in St. Petersburg was left behind at the Russian border. The change was good. I need that change again.
I've been thinking about Latvia a lot lately. This week will have been a year since a really kick-ass three days. Those three days I spent in the Republic of Latvia were really important to me. And they still are, but things have changed a lot since then. I had met some people, someone, who altered my life. Examples of living. Examples of friendships. And one person in particular who helped me realize what it was to truly live for the moment. But of course, life must move on. There are some things that have to stay in the past. And as a friend once told me, there are some relationships that aren't meant to last; just meant to make you learn about yourself, life and love.

Sorting through my room is overwhelming. I've packed away 90% of the clothes I don't need. Boxed up some trinkets. Threw out papers and old school work that I don't want anymore. I found it was easier to clear out my room when I was upset about some things. And it ended up being cathartic. And it made me realize that I'm ready to leave here. Maybe not prepared, but ready.

Playlist: Konstantine- Something Corporate.